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Security Guard Punched & a 'Cleaning Lady': Best of the Blotter

The most bizarre police reports from departments throughout Northeast Ohio.

Northeast Ohio police departments have been busy with plenty of outlandish offenses. Here are the weirdest reports of the week. All information was provided by police reports from departments in Patch communities.

A punch and a lie: Shuree Jefferson had an eventful day at in Mentor.

Police said the Cleveland woman Dillard's without paying for more than $1,100 worth of clothes. When a security guard tried to stop her, she punched him in the chest. She also knocked over some clothing racks in the process.

When officers questioned her, the 34-year-old claimed to be half her age. Fingerprints later showed she was no teenager. She was arraigned Friday in . She will again appear in court on Thursday.

A clean break-in: An Elyria woman decided to dust up instead of stealing when she allegedly broke into a Westlake home.

According to , 53-year-old Susan Warren broke into a Dover Center Road home on May 22 for seemingly no other purpose than to do some . Nothing was stolen from the home, but Warren left a $75 bill for her services on a napkin.

Warren already had a warrant out for her arrest and is charged with felony burglary. She was arraigned at Rocky River Municipal Court, but Westlake police captain Guy Turner believes Cuyahoga Court of Common Pleas will handle her case moving forward.

Puking for police: A 21-year-old man showed just how intoxicated he was when officers arrested him for drunken driving.

Police saw him cross the center line on Cleveland-Massillon Road a few times. He slurred through questions after police pulled him over. According to a police report, he during the arrest and a few more times once he arrived at the police station. He was eventually released to his friend's mother.

Drunken R&R: A nap rarely results in an arrest — unless one is taken on a sidewalk with a six-year-old in tow.

A drunken couple did just that last weekend in Cuyahoga Falls. Officers on Hollywood Avenue and visibly intoxicated. The couple was charged with disorderly conduct and endangering a child.

The man was arrested and the woman was taken to detox. The child was dropped off at the home of a relative.

Caught in the bushes: Early morning pajama play at a bank branch made for a bizarre arrest in Twinsburg.

A pajama-clad Houston, Texas woman and a shirtless Macedonia man were a week ago in the bushes near . Both were under 21 and intoxicated.

charged them with underage consumption, first-degree misdemeanor.

Want more police blotter updates? Visit the homepage of your nearest Patch and subscribe to its email newsletter!

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