Mother’s Day is almost here. I want to make it clear: No thoughts here of disrespecting the day that we remember the woman who gave us life. I’m glad there is a Mother’s Day. Truly. What I'm questioning is, how do women without children — NotMoms — handle the day?
Reading comments to this blog and others by and for childfree and By Chance women, and by talking to childless friends, it seems clear that this holiday has hidden speed bumps. But, I also know women who are rather matter-of-fact. They wanted kids, didn't have them, and now, they don't think much about it, nor does Mother's Day mean anything to them but another Sunday. Are there as many reactions as there are NotMoms?
Some women said they prefer to stay at home on Mother’s Day to avoid being given a free flower or other business “gifts” to women customers. Either they quietly accept the rose or whatever, or they refuse it, saying “I’m not a mother.” Consensus feedback is that gift-givers generally push it more firmly in your direction saying, “Take one anyway” adopting a tone bordering on sympathy. No childfree woman ever wants that kind of sympathy, and few By Chance women can bear it.
By now, I'm never surprised when childless-by-choice friends tend to be a bit peeved when confronted with ubiquitous pink and cheery, misdirected good wishes. Likewise, women who once dreamed of their own Mother’s Day breakfast in bed had responses that ranged from sad to (confrontational) when asked a simple question:
“As a woman without children, what impact does Mother’s Day have on you, if any?”
What about you, Dear Reader? Does Mother’s Day affect you positively, negatively, or not at all? Do you spend so much time with your own mother that you really don’t think about the more personal side of the day? Or do you go to the movies and lose yourself in a good comedy?