Let me first say that I would REALLY like to see you make some real progress in taking control of your anxiety, whether it be in the form of panic attacks, phobias, agoraphobia or obsessive/intrusive thoughts and /or compulsive behaviors.
Yes, I believe, actually, I KNOW you can gain more control over your symptoms if you are only willing to work hard to understand the true SOURCES of your anxiety, if you will take the time to develop a healthy and reasonable PLAN, and finally, are at a point where you are willing to work that plan, step by step.
You notice I did not say you could overcome your symptoms in six easy steps, that all you have to do is buy some CD or DVD program. It does not work that way. It takes hard work and determination. But it does work because it is YOU taking steps to make it work and not just looking for a magic pill. No Pain, No Gain !....or Know Pain, Know gain…get it?
I have no doubt that your Self-Esteem has a great deal to do with WHY you had anxiety symptoms to begin with, as is the case for most of us. There are things we need to do in our lives, people and situations we need to deal with so that we feel more in control in our lives, but we have avoided those people or situations because we want to avoid conflict, avoid disapproval or rejection.
When we avoid, our self-esteem takes a hit, a serious thrashing over time. If you just LISTEN to the way you sometimes talk to yourself in your private moments, you can probably hear your negative self-talk. :
“ I wish I would have taken the time to finish my degree !”,
“Why did I allow that person to manipulate me, why was I so weak ?”
“Why have I let myself go and gained so much weight, I can just imagine what people are thinking about me ? ”
“Here I am, another year has gone by and I have not made any of the changes I promised myself I would ! “
“Why did I yes, I did not want to go there with them ? ”
“ I am stuck in this job and it’s too late to change anything ! “
“ Why am I still in this relationship, I know I am miserable and it is not going to get better.? Maybe I am not suppose to be happy ! “
“ Nothing good ever comes my way. I must be cursed ! “
“How could I be so stupid to let him use me that way ? “
I could go on and one, but you get the idea. No one else has to put you down, you probably do enough of that to yourself. And, what I find in most cases is that this kind of avoidance and negative self-talk has been going on since you were a kid, or at least a teenager. People can be cruel and say and do hurtful things to others, mostly because they have their own self-esteem issues.
Maybe you have been bullied. Maybe you were made fun of by others. Maybe your need for approval caused you to spend more time pleasing the other people and not focusing on doing what you really wanted to do in and with your life.
Well, I have to tell you something and you need to listen ! It is not too late to make changes in your life and take steps to boost your self -esteem while also learning to face your fears and anxieties. If you want to get on board, come join us in Support Group at www.OneStepataTime.com. We will start those groups in about two weeks on Sunday nights at 9 PM, ET.
Of course, you could avoid this too !