Moms Talk: When Should Kids Get a Cell Phone?

Each week the Mentor Patch Moms Council answers a question on parenthood posed to them by readers or another member of council.

This week's question: How young is too young for a cellphone? Where do you draw the line and why?

Renee Ochaya:

My 11- and 12-year-old have been asking for a phone for a couple years. Some friends had phones in early elementary school, which I felt was much too young.

We decided to consider a phone once we felt there was a need to communicate with the kids when they were away from the house.

We purchased one for my son the summer after sixth grade. The phone proved to be helpful, especially for communicating the need to be picked up after sports.

Honestly, other than that he doesn’t use it much, other than to text his friends. We probably could have waited a bit longer. Since we set that precedent, we told my daughter we’d consider a phone in middle school.

Jill Korsok:

We set the bar at eighth grade with our oldest child. We had just moved and she was taking the bus to a friend’s house after school each day and we wanted to be able to verify she arrived and to give her the means to contact us if she missed the bus or something.

When our second child entered middle school, we told him he had to wait until eighth grade, and after my husband and I forgot to pick him up after cross country practice three or four times in seventh grade, (“You didn’t get Brett? I thought you were picking him up?”) we decided it was in our collective best interest to give him the means to call us if he needed us.

When our third and probably most active child entered middle school, he got a phone for Christmas for achieving straight A’s.

While I set limits and the kids know the phones belong to me and that I can ask to see them and review who they’ve been talking to at any time, they’ve been very responsible with them.

A few years ago, I was out of town and had an emergency and needed to reach my family. I called my husband’s cell phone repeatedly and he didn’t answer because he, like many other adults, doesn’t always have it with him. I finally decided to call my daughter’s phone and she answered on the second ring.  It was a lifesaver and for just that reason, I am happy to be a family of five cellphones.

Mary Jo Stack:

My children shared a cellphone when they entered middle school. They only had the phone when it was needed for after-school activities, out with a friend, etc.

The only time I think a child younger than middle school age would need one is on a case-by-case basis. My children, ages 15 and 16, just received their own cellphones about a year ago.

Melanie Majikas:

It varies so much by family situation.

In my own family, we felt that entering middle school was a good time to have a cellphone. My girls are very busy with activities, and it gives me peace of mind to know that they can contact me whenever necessary.

I don't encourage my girls to talk on the phone because I don't think it's a good idea for anyone to have the radiation next to their head, but especially bad for developing brains.

So my girls use their phones to text and for urgent calls. It is a hard thing because it seems like kids are getting their phones at younger ages. My younger daughter is in fourth grade and several of her friends have had phones for at least a couple of years. That seems too young for me, personally.

Debbie Lynn:

There are so many criteria that come into play with a cellphone.

Does your child's school allow them? Is your child involved in any activities where they will need to contact you for a pick-up time? Is your child responsible? Do you worry about how they would use one? Do you want your child to be responsible for any part of the bill? Do you have a home phone or are you using only cells?

So, I don't think there are any hard-and-fast rules. We gave our oldest daughter a phone in 10th grade. And we did it for our convenience. I drove her to school each day and picked her up after school. Sometimes she would need to be picked up later than usual and I didn't want to sit in the parking lot, waiting for her.

She could give me a call to avoid me wasting my time. I think each child needs to be considered individually. Each circumstance is different.